Careers Advice
by DoraLestrange
Summary: Some of the Harry Potter characters recieve Careers Advice - no thanks to Sirius Black and James Potter.
1. Remus Lupin

A faint knock at the door alerted Professor McGonagall that her next student had arrived. "Come in," she said curtly, placing her quill into its pot.

The boy entered slowly and shut the door carefully behind him with scarred hands. He hovered in the room, clutching a slightly crumpled piece of parchment. McGonagall stared at him over her glasses, her hands folded together, resting on the desk. When he still hadn't moved after a while, she said, "Are you going to sit down, Lupin, or am I going to be forced to shout across the room to you for the full duration of our meeting?"

"Oh, right, sorry," he said, his face flushing as hurriedly took a seat. "Thank you."

The Transfiguration professor studied him for a moment. Then, brisk as always, said, "As you are aware, Lupin, this is an opportunity to discuss your future career. Have you had any thoughts on the matter?"

"Well, yes, actually," said, fumbling with his notes. "I've compiled a list of careers and the subjects and grades needed."

He handed the parchment to her without glancing at it and she promptly scanned it, her sharp eyebrows raising steadily throughout.

_Possible career options and subjects needed:_

_1. Filch's assistant - not greasy enough_

_2. Singing stripogram - need to work on physique and bulk up a little_

_3. Professor Dumbledore's beard comber - possibility_

_4. Peter Pettigrew's court jester - no juggling skills_

_5. Sirius Black and James Potter's manservant - haven't got the legs to wear obligatory maid uniform_

_6. Professor McGonagall's personal bloomers washer - might enjoy a little too much_

There was a long pause as she stared at the parchment, her lips pursed. Remus just stared at his folded hands in his lap and waited for her to finish.

"Well you certainly do have high ambitions, Mr Lupin."

"Yes, I do realise that it won't be easy," he said seriously, his brow furrowed, "what with my condition and everything."

"There is that to be taken into consideration," she said thoughtfully, "though I'm not quite certain which grades would be needed."

Lupin looked confused. "I think you'll find them written next to the appropriate career."

She looked down at the parchment again. "Mm. Well, I think the fifth option would be quite achievable - I am sure that Potter and Black will find your legs perfectly acceptable."

Lupin's head jerked up. He looked at her as though she had gone mad. "Are you feeling alright, Professor?"

"Yes, Mr Lupin, I am perfectly well," she said, a faint trace of amusement on her lips. "I believe your friends, Potter and Black, however, may have been – ah – tinkering with your notes," she said, passing the parchment back to him.

He read it and his eyes widened, his face turning an immediate blotchy red. "I - I'm so sorry, Professor," he stammered and hurried to stand up, avoiding her gaze. "If - if you'll excuse me I – I've got two people I urgently need to curse.

And with that, he rushed out of the room without a backwards glance.


	2. James Potter

As the door to her office crashed open, Minerva McGonagall very nearly had a heart attack. She leapt from her chair so fast that her glasses slid down to the end of her nose.

"I'm here," announced the also spectacled boy..

"Do come in, won't you, Mr Potter?" said McGonagall smartly, regaining her ability to breathe. "Sit down."

James flung his bag to the floor and his bottom onto the chair.

"Feet off of the desk, Potter!"

"Sorry," he grinned. "And may I just say that your hair is looking particularly lovely today, Professor. The perfect combination of neatness and that ruffled –"

"Potter!" barked McGonagall, her hat now askew. He opened his dark eyes innocently, and hers narrowed. "I take it you haven't had a single idea of what you would like to do for a career when and if you finally become an adult, have you, Potter?"

"Professor," he said, looking hurt, "I'll have you know I have had many an idea. I have so many ideas they're practically spilling out my ears in their haste. Honestly, don't be so quick to judge."

McGonagall resigned herself for the worst. She knew it was coming.

"And what, Potter," she said through firmly gritted teeth, "are these ideas?"

"Hm, well, I though that I could be the greatest wizard of all time." When the professor made to interrupt, James continued, "_Or_, failing that, I thought I could just – you know – be Minister of Magic."

She just stared at him.

"Mind if I have a ginger newt?" he asked, already diving into the tartan biscuit tin. As he chewed, he quite clearly saw McGonagall mouth the words, "Minister of Magic … "

"Of course," said James, spraying ginger newt everywhere, "that's just a backup. If I'm the greatest wizard of all time I can just have people pay me for, you know, being great. And the girls – think of the girls, professor!"

The Transfiguration Professor didn't seem in the mood to 'think of the girls'. She brushed biscuit crumbs from her robes and sat up straight, folding her hands on the desk. "Mr Potter," she said very seriously, "do you have any idea how hard you would have to work to pass the tests for mere entry into even a minor Ministry of Magic occupation? You would have to be test on your concealment –"

"Easy."

"Stealth and –"

"Pfft, done."

"Heal –"

"I'm going to stop your right there, dearest Professor," grinned James, running a hand through his hair. He leant forwards onto the desk. "I could pass all those tests standing on my broom, blindfolded and wearing a pygmy-puff costume with Snape trying to hex me."

"Do not –"

"Insult other students, yeah, yeah," said James, waving a dismissive hand. "Going to take ten points away from Gryffindor?"

McGonagall ignored that. "Mr Potter, I want you to leave my office and I never want to see you here again," she said wearily.

"But I'll see you in my office when I'm Minister, eh, Professor?" he winked. The look she gave him was beyond murderous. He grabbed his bag and strutted out of the room. McGonagall could only relax once she distinctly heard the door slam and Remus Lupin shout spells after James, who let out high-pitched screams as he was chased down the entire corridor.


End file.
